Why Buyers Don't Trust Salespeople (And How to Fix It) | Carole Mahoney

"Why do so many buyers distrust salespeople?

Carole Mahoney started her career hating sales. Today, she helps sales teams understand why traditional persuasion techniques undermine trust, how psychology influences buyer decisions, and why even experienced salespeople struggle with rejection.
"What if the techniques your sales team relies on are actually making customers less likely to buy?”

In this conversation with Cory Cotten-Potter, Carole challenges conventional sales thinking, explores how to ask questions without manufacturing urgency, and explains why human expertise matters more than ever in an AI-driven buying environment.

What You'll Learn:

• Why traditional sales techniques can undermine buyer trust.
• How to ask discovery questions without manufacturing urgency.
• Why fear of rejection holds capable salespeople back.
• How cognitive bias affects sales hiring decisions.
• Why effective coaching must address behavior, not just pipeline numbers.
• How salespeople can deliver value when buyers increasingly use AI for research.

Why Buyers Don't Trust Salespeople: 5 Ways to Build Better Relationships

Carole's introduction to sales was almost accidental. She initially moved into marketing because she disliked the traditional perception of selling and wanted to make salespeople obsolete. When she eventually started her own business, however, she discovered that marketing alone would not generate enough business to support her family. She needed to learn how to sell.

She tried the conventional approaches, reading sales books, attending workshops, experimenting with cold calling, and working through different techniques. None produced the results she expected. The turning point came when she began examining her own beliefs about selling through a coaching program associated with HubSpot's partner network.

She realized that her difficulty was not necessarily a lack of sales techniques. Her underlying beliefs were influencing how she approached conversations. She viewed selling as convincing someone to do something, which naturally created pressure and made interactions feel uncomfortable.

Her perspective changed when she began thinking about sales as an opportunity to help someone solve a problem. If her solution was the right fit, she could help them move forward. If it wasn't, she could point them in another direction.

This distinction became the foundation of her buyer-first selling philosophy.

Carole argues that many salespeople continue to concentrate on tactics because they believe success comes from asking the right question, finding an opening, or overcoming an objection. However, the moment a salesperson starts thinking about how to get a buyer to do something, the focus has shifted away from the buyer's needs.

The problem is reinforced by the experiences buyers have with salespeople. When interactions are built around persuasion rather than understanding, buyers become more guarded and less willing to share information. This creates a cycle in which salespeople resort to increasingly aggressive techniques, further damaging trust.

A more effective approach is collaborative selling, where salespeople work with the client from the discovery stage to understand the client’s core problem, evaluate possible solutions, and determine whether there is a genuine fit.

This also explains why sales transformation cannot happen through training alone. Organizations need to address the beliefs and behaviors that influence how their people approach customers.

Buyer-First Selling Starts With Understanding the Customer

One of the biggest challenges Carole encounters when working with organizations is the disconnect between what companies believe about their customers and what their customers actually need.

She points out that she can ask different people within the same organization to describe their ideal customer profile, the problems that customers face, and why the company is best positioned to solve them. Frequently, she receives five or six different answers.

This lack of agreement creates problems throughout the sales organization. If leadership cannot clearly articulate who the company serves, salespeople cannot consistently identify the right prospects, develop relevant conversations, or communicate the value of the solution.

Carole believes the best way to understand an ideal customer profile is remarkably straightforward: talk to customers.

Rather than relying exclusively on assumptions, internal discussions, or historical data, organizations need to have direct conversations with the people they serve. These conversations help uncover the challenges customers face, the outcomes they value, and the reasons they choose one solution over another.

This is particularly important when developing buyer personas. A job title or company size provides only a limited understanding of an individual. Salespeople also need to understand how buyers think, what influences their decisions, and what uncertainties prevent them from moving forward.

Buyer-centric selling requires this understanding to influence the entire sales process, from prospecting and discovery to objection handling and closing.

It also needs to extend beyond the sales department. Carole argues that CEOs and CROs should be speaking directly with customers rather than relying entirely on information passed through their teams. When executives remain disconnected from actual buyer experiences, their assumptions can gradually become the foundation of company strategy.

Why Sales Psychology Matters More Than Following a Fixed Methodology

Sales organizations have spent decades developing frameworks and methodologies designed to make selling more consistent. While these approaches can provide useful structure, Carole believes there is a fundamental limitation in assuming that one methodology will work for every buyer.

Different people process information differently, respond to different communication styles, and approach purchasing decisions with different priorities. Some buyers appreciate being challenged, while others prefer a more collaborative conversation. Their responses can also change depending on the situation, the risks involved, and the people participating in the decision.

Carole explains that sales methodologies should be aligned with how the buyer makes decisions rather than forcing every customer through the same sequence of steps.

This is where sales psychology and behavioral science become particularly valuable. Understanding buyer behavior helps salespeople recognize patterns in how people respond to particular situations. It also allows them to adjust their communication style rather than assuming that everyone experiences the world in the same way.

Carole sees a similar principle applying to sales. Salespeople cannot expect every buyer to communicate or make decisions in the same way they do. They need to recognize differences and adjust their approach accordingly.

The same principles extend beyond professional interactions. Carole shares how applying open-ended questions and active listening improved her relationships with her husband and children. Instead of immediately offering advice or trying to solve a problem, she learned to ask questions that helped others explore their own thinking.

Her experience reinforces a central idea: the behaviors that make someone effective in sales are often the same behaviors that improve relationships in everyday life.

How Cognitive Biases Affect Sales Hiring Decisions

Building a successful sales team starts with recruiting the right people. However, Carole believes many organizations approach sales hiring with assumptions that can prevent them from identifying the candidates most likely to succeed.

She highlights several cognitive biases that influence recruitment, including anchoring bias, confirmation bias, and recency bias. Hiring managers often enter an interview with an existing image of what a successful salesperson should look like. They then evaluate candidates against that image rather than considering what the actual role requires.

The problem becomes more complicated when several executives participate in the recruitment process. Each person may have a different idea of what makes a good salesperson, and the final decision can depend more on internal preferences and organizational politics than on the requirements of the position.

Carole also challenges the assumption that experience in competitive sports automatically makes someone a strong sales candidate. A salesperson who performed well in one organization or market may not necessarily succeed in another environment.

Her approach begins with understanding the business before defining the seller profile. This includes examining the customer base, the company's business model, average order value, competitive environment, and the complexity of the sales process.

Carole references an assessment database covering more than 2.4 million sales professionals evaluated over three decades. The objective is to use validated, role-specific assessments to understand the likelihood of a candidate succeeding in a particular sales position.

Rather than relying on intuition, organizations can introduce structured interviews, consistent evaluation criteria, and relevant sales assessment tools to reduce bias.

Overcoming Sales Anxiety and the Fear of Rejection

Even when salespeople understand the principles of buyer-first selling, putting them into practice can be difficult. Carole believes the biggest obstacles are often psychological rather than technical.

Fear of rejection, the need for validation, and self-limiting beliefs can influence how salespeople behave during customer interactions. These feelings become particularly pronounced when quotas are approaching, managers are applying pressure, or previous conversations have ended badly.

Despite changes in technology and the growing availability of digital communication channels, cold calling still remains an important way to reach potential buyers. Yet many salespeople struggle to pick up the phone because they anticipate rejection.

Carole shares the story of Zach, a business development representative at a technology company who was struggling to make calls. He questioned whether he was suited to sales and frequently avoided calling prospects by spending time adjusting email sequences instead.

Through coaching, Carole helped him identify the underlying beliefs affecting his behavior. He was afraid of rejection and wanted people to validate his abilities. When a prospect said they were busy or could not speak, he would freeze rather than continue the conversation.

Instead of giving him another script, Carole encouraged him to approach the interaction differently. She suggested that he respond naturally, with a little humor, rather than treating every rejection as a personal failure.

The experience changed his attitude toward prospecting. As Carole explains, once he gave himself permission to have fun with the process, his confidence began to improve.

This illustrates why overcoming cold calling anxiety requires more than teaching someone what to say. Sales coaching needs to identify the emotional barriers preventing people from applying what they already know. It is here that building confidence and reducing fear around cold calling provides a complementary perspective on developing more consistent prospecting habits.

Carole also draws on principles from cognitive behavioral therapy, encouraging people to examine what they fear and consider how likely the worst possible outcome really is. When salespeople stop treating every rejection as a reflection of their personal worth, they can approach conversations with greater confidence.

Why Effective Sales Coaching Must Address Behavior

Carole believes that many sales managers make the mistake of coaching opportunities rather than developing the people responsible for creating them.

When a manager asks a salesperson when a deal will close or what needs to happen to hit quota, the conversation is primarily about the numbers. While these questions have a place in sales management, they do not necessarily help someone improve their selling skills.

Effective sales coaching needs to examine what is happening beneath the surface. Why is a salesperson struggling to get prospects to engage? What happens when a buyer raises an objection? Does the salesperson listen carefully, or are they already thinking about how to respond?

AI roleplay tools can support this process by allowing sellers to practice conversations and prepare for different buyer scenarios. Carole is particularly interested in this area through the development of her sell-me.ai platform.

However, technology should complement the coaching process rather than replace the need to understand individual behaviors and their underlying causes.

How AI Is Changing the Role of the B2B Salesperson

AI is changing the way buyers research products, evaluate vendors, and prepare for purchasing decisions. Buyers now have access to enormous amounts of information without needing to speak to a salesperson.

If AI allows buyers to conduct research and find answers independently, what value can salespeople continue to provide? Carole believes the answer lies in understanding the difference between information and context.

She shares an example of a coaching client who used Claude to generate a follow-up email. The client assumed the AI-generated recommendation was correct because he did not have the experience to recognize its limitations. When Carole ran the same request through her own AI setup, which had been trained around her thinking and methodologies, the result was substantially different.

Her point is that AI can produce confident answers without necessarily understanding the specific circumstances in which those answers will be used. Buyers can experience the same problem when researching potential solutions.

Salespeople therefore need to engage with the information buyers are already receiving rather than dismissing it. They should ask what buyers have discovered through AI, examine the assumptions behind those findings, and identify aspects of the problem that may not have been considered.

Carole argues that AI can provide information, but it cannot independently understand every detail of a buyer's environment, business priorities, internal challenges, and decision-making dynamics.

That is where contextual expertise becomes valuable.

The ability to ask targeted questions, challenge assumptions constructively, and help buyers examine their own thinking will become an increasingly important source of differentiation.

For business leaders, maintaining a healthy level of skepticism is essential. AI-generated recommendations need to be examined, validated, and understood before they influence important decisions.

Why Human Connection Will Become More Valuable in the Future

Looking ahead, Carole expects AI to continue transforming how people research, communicate, and make decisions. More interactions will take place virtually, and technology will increasingly influence how businesses engage with customers.

However, she believes that genuine human connection will become more valuable as digital interactions become more common. In her view, face-to-face interaction could become something of a luxury as people increasingly rely on virtual communication. The ability to establish trust, understand another person's perspective, and develop meaningful relationships will remain important.

Sales transformation will require a combination of technology, behavioral understanding, and relationship-based selling. AI can help salespeople prepare, research, and practice, but they still need the interpersonal skills to understand customers and guide complex decisions.

Key Takeaways

Carole's conversation highlights why effective selling begins with understanding people rather than following a prescribed set of techniques. As technology changes how buyers access information, the ability to build relationships, recognize behavioral patterns, and provide relevant guidance becomes increasingly important.

Ultimately, the future of B2B sales will not be determined by who has the most sophisticated scripts, the largest collection of sales techniques, or the greatest volume of automated outreach. It will belong to professionals who understand how people think, communicate, and make decisions, and who can use that understanding to help buyers solve meaningful business problems.

Key Insights:

• [08:35] Stop Selling and Start Helping Buyers Solve Problems

The moment salespeople focus on getting buyers to purchase, they risk losing their trust. The conversation should instead center on understanding the buyer's problem and determining whether the proposed solution genuinely addresses it. Carole explains that this shift in mindset removes the pressure to persuade and replaces it with a willingness to help. Even recommending another provider when appropriate can strengthen credibility and create relationships built on trust rather than sales tactics.

• [16:22] Build Sales Hiring Profiles Around Your Ideal Buyer

Hiring decisions often reflect leadership preferences rather than the qualities buyers actually need in a salesperson. Carole highlights how cognitive biases influence recruitment, including assumptions that competitive athletes automatically make better salespeople. She recommends starting with a clear understanding of the ideal customer, business model, and competitive environment before defining the seller profile. Using structured interviews and validated behavioral assessments can reduce hiring bias and improve the likelihood of recruiting salespeople suited to the role.

• [32:20] Overcome Cold Calling Fear by Reframing Rejection

Fear of rejection can prevent capable salespeople from making calls, even when they know prospecting is essential to their success. Carole shares Zach's experience as a BDR who avoided calling prospects because he needed validation and struggled with rejection. She introduced a simple cognitive reframing exercise: consider the worst possible outcome, then rate it on a scale of zero to death. Giving himself permission to have fun helped Zach overcome his hesitation and book a meeting.

• [36:23] Stop Humanizing AI and Start Questioning Its Answers

Treating AI tools like human advisors can undermine critical thinking and make people more likely to trust inaccurate information. Carole cautions sales professionals against overlooking the limitations of AI-generated recommendations, particularly when they lack the expertise to evaluate the output. She illustrates this through a client's generic AI-generated follow-up email, which lacked the context and methodology behind her own approach. Sales teams need to validate AI recommendations against experience, expertise, and the buyer's actual circumstances.

• [38:02] Give AI-Informed Buyers the Context They Cannot Find

When buyers can access information through AI, simply repeating product facts and specifications no longer provides meaningful differentiation. Carole explains that salespeople must bring contextual expertise grounded in real customer conversations and an understanding of specific business challenges. Rather than dismissing AI research, sellers should ask buyers what they have discovered and use targeted questions to uncover gaps in their understanding. This positions salespeople as trusted advisors who help buyers interpret information and make better decisions.

FAQ’s

1. What is buyer-first selling?

Buyer-first selling is an approach that puts the buyer’s needs, challenges, and decision-making process at the center of every sales conversation. Rather than trying to persuade prospects to purchase, salespeople focus on helping them solve problems. Carole explains how collaborative selling, active listening, and thoughtful questions build trust and create stronger customer relationships.

2. How does sales psychology improve B2B sales effectiveness?

Sales psychology helps professionals understand how buyers think, make decisions, and respond to different selling approaches. By applying behavioral science, salespeople can identify underlying concerns, handle sales objections more effectively, and adapt their conversations to individual needs. Carole discusses how understanding buyer behavior creates more meaningful interactions and supports a buyer-centric approach to sales.

3. How can sales leaders overcome fear of rejection and improve sales performance?

Sales leaders can address fear of rejection by understanding the beliefs and behavioral patterns that influence how their teams approach selling. Carole explains why effective sales coaching goes beyond targets and activity levels. Cognitive reframing, roleplay, and behavioral change can help salespeople build confidence, overcome cold calling anxiety, and develop a healthier sales mindset.

4. How is AI changing the future of B2B sales?

AI is changing how buyers research products, evaluate solutions, and prepare for purchasing decisions. However, information alone does not replace the contextual expertise that experienced salespeople bring. Carole explains why human connection, active listening, and buyer understanding will become increasingly important. Sales professionals must use AI thoughtfully while maintaining trust and delivering value through collaborative selling.

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